Do you remember being little and thinking 5 dollars in your pocket may as well have been 10 million bucks-you were rich! A fight with your brother or sister was daily, but always forgiven and left in the past with each start of a new morning. You never worried about a tag showing because your shirt was inside out, or a ketchup stain from your hot dog you had when your mom fed you an hour ago in the kitchen.
Buildings were ginormous, cartoons were always funny and entertaining, and you cried because you lost your favorite toy or your mom was leaving you alone with the scary babysitter.
You never once cried over a boy who broke your heart and walked away leaving you feeling greatly vulnerable and unworthy. You never had to watch your big sister fall in and out of rehab as well as in and out of your life while in between the abusing boyfriend of the month. You never were forced to hate your father because your mother allowed you see his unfaithfulness and mistakes to his wife as she kept the fire burning with bitterness and control. You had no idea that being a little child meant you were a sponge, full of absorbing pores that in due time you would have to sort through all the gunk that had been taken and turned into mold throughout the years as it made a home deep down inside of you.
When your heart breaks, it hurts. Lying, hurts. Cheating, hurts. Deceit and lies, hurt. Vulnerability, hurts.
Life is full of so many ups and downs, joys and pains, happiness and sorrow. But I have learned to always remind myself of one thing---- it's not the end of the world. Because there may be a sad day, happiness will always follow. The next day always comes with another opportunity to make a move or change that can distance you from ever feeling that pain again.
In these hard, dark times... We learn about our weaknesses as well as our strengths. We learn where we can improve ourselves and what we want out of life. Each day is filled with so many choices and the free will to choose your journey. Because of the things I've seen as a child, I thank God that it has and is continuing to sculpt me into the person He desires me to be. The one He so wonderfully created. I would never take back the opportunity to love and know what love felt like in order to not feel the pain of a broken heart. I would never choose to not have a sister so I would never have to see her speak evil words of my parents or hurt because of her choices to bring pain to herself. I would never wish for parents who were more private and kept their struggles from me... Because in that I've learned what the meaning of true, unconditional and raw love means.
I've learned through pain that people are not perfect, just as I am no where near perfection. I've learned the importance of being human and learning from those placed in your life for reasons. There is much reward for fighting and persevering, even if its only to see the rainbow after the rain. It's so important to never judge someone for their decisions, whether good or bad, because we don't know what it looks like to walk their path and see through their eyes as sweet, innocent children. We have no idea the pains and strife they've trudged through, or even the dark days they've faced. But one thing we can do is keep hope. See the good. See the beauty in the beast. Appreciate flaws and thank God for restoration. Pray for healing and growth and never, ever give up hope. Have faith in Lord and the great job He has already done in never failing us.
This world is full of wrong and undeserved pains... but we have the choice to change the lens we look through each day. strive to see the good in broken people who are just gasping for fresh air and someone who cares. Rejoice in your struggles for with them come joy and gratefulness for the things that are truly blessings in disguise.
